Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
