I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
