could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We left the knife in your bed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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