no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
