im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I skipped work to stalk him.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How does one acquire holy water?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
