OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
