Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
