"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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