Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize