Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
