R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
