The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
