How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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