I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize