When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
