FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
