I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
