i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
