I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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