I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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