Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
