apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
