But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
