yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
