walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
