I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
