I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
