So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
