I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize