How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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