I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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