There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize