He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
