i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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