Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
