We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
