brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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