I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
