Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
