Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
There are leaves in my underwear?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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