I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
