my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
