I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
