I hate all girls vehemently.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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