Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
