So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
