all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
