i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
