ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We are two peas in an std pod
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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