I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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