shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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