God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
