Cold hands, warm shart.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
