Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
