This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
